Saturday, April 4, 2015

Angel Wing Talisman

Throughout history, man has found comfort and sought protection in objects. Tokens of power and sources of spiritual support. Talismans were even used in medieval medicine as a form of treatment when all prior forms had failed, sometimes to great success, because belief is a mysteriously powerful thing. People's belief in such objects have given some items sacramental weight which has outlasted even the objects themselves.

We all have them. Good luck charms, security blankets, and little trinkets which mean much more to us then their actual worth.

There is no frivolity in your heart giving an object such weight, if it gives you comfort and hope in a time of fear and despair. That is a very real thing of worth.

During my brain surgery, a very special ring, which had been gotten as a gift for me based on how another person saw me during my darkest time of struggle, gave me immeasurable hope. Sadly, I never wore it on my finger or even held it in my hand. It was half a world away. Its delivery delayed awaiting a more personal arrival. (The ring was eventually stolen, having never been received.)

But, its very existence showed me a side of myself I could not see, but desperately needed to feel. At my ugliest moments when I felt utterly worthless, and could muster no reason to keep going, when I most wanted to give up, I would close my eyes and think of that ring. I would find beauty and worth in myself, because someone else had seen me in a way I could not. It gave me strength and the gift of its soft grace to find beauty in the darkness.

No one else will ever know the depth of my feeling for that far away ring. Nor grasp its importance to my fearful, wounded heart. That ring was a salvation of light, my survival talisman. Its worth far beyond any price tag. (I often still dream of it when my soul hurts and I feel lost. The beauty of its curves, the splendor of its shape, the graceful elegance of its design, and the unique view of me within it... Its memory still provides comfort and is a safe place during dangerous times.)

So hold close the things that matter to you, that give you comfort and hope. Treasure your little treasures. It is not shallow or silly. Do not let anyone belittle your need for a possession, nor allow them to trivialize it, for it is no small thing when something gives you the strength to keep going and the will to believe you will make it.

(Note: Later, I did receive another ring, to symbolize all I had been through and shared with another. A ring different than the first, but whose beauty of purpose also moves me to this day. And which I put back on today, since it is spring and that is a time of starting anew. Even if I only wear it for a little while, I am reminded to be moved.)

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